Lost and Found

I debated what the title of this post would be but after this long last week, I determined that 'Lost and Found' was the most appropriate title.  Not only does the title of my blog talking about losing yourself, but this week I truly did just that.  I lost myself.  The me I had found while at the resort.  This week was a TOUGH week. 

First off it didn't help that I suddenly was hit smack in the face with a nasty cold on Tuesday afternoon that had me down for the count, but for some reason I was completely swept away with drug rep lunches this week.  I thought for sure that coming back from the resort my resolve to pass up drug rep lunches would be strengthened, but I didn't account for the fact that life doesn't always work as you plan it.  This week I caught myself eating Cheeseburger Sliders from Applebees twice at work -- do you have any idea how many calories are in one of those little things??? It's almost 400 calories!! Crazy!!! Part of it was because I wasn't feeling good and therefore what resolve I had was spent on just making it through the day and part of it was because of poor planning.  So out of that poor planning came Lesson #1  --  MAKE SURE YOU BRING HEALTHY FOOD YOU CAN GRAB QUICKLY AND GO WITH TO WORK.  The first slip with the sliders was due to having to rush out for a meeting and not having had time to go home for lunch first -- it was quick and easy -- and OH so unhealthy.  Then once I tasted the deliciousness it was too hard to resist when I couldn't escape home for lunch the following day.  Lesson learned.  Unfortunately that lesson was learned over and over again this week -- you think it would have sunk in the first time, but no -- this skull is thick (and stubborn!) :)  But -- tomorrow I will be purchasing some healthy on the go meals to keep at work. 

I did try the B Healthy meals and although they were good, I'm not quite sure that it is going to work for me.  At least not every week.  I feel like I didn't eat enough of them to make it worth the money.  It was good for a few healthy meals this week though.  Maybe it will be an every other or every three weeks thing.  But they were yummy.

Lesson # 2 came during a particularly anxious time for me.  I was stressed out with a personal situation and the first place I went to was food.  This one is going to be tougher to overcome.  This one I'm going to have to find some kind of mantra or way of avoiding food whenever this happens.  Therefore Lesson #2 -- FOOD IS NOT THE ANSWER TO ANXIETY OR STRESS -- MIND OVER MATTER -- YOU CAN DEAL WITH IT WITHOUT EATING FOOD.  This lesson was also repeated this afternoon as things got pretty hairy at work.  I was pretty pleased with myself with my control at lunch in only eating one piece of pizza (yes, another drug rep lunch --- Dr. Smith I never realized how good I had it at Bent Creek not having to struggle with this temptation!!) because pizza is my all time favorite food.  But when the stress level went up -- so did my hand towards the pizza box -- ugh!!! 

So through all of these lessons and situations, I was feeling pretty lost.  Feeling like I wasted my week at the resort and frustrated with myself for not being stronger willed.  Then, I went to Zumba tonight.  And I was found.  It was during the last song that sang about being free and strong that I remembered who I was.  Who I am.  I am strong.  I CAN overcome.  There will be hills and there will be valleys in this journey, but those are what make the journey.  That is what makes me stronger.  And viola -- Lesson #3 -- EVERY MOMENT CAN BE THE START OF SOMETHING BETTER --  A DO OVER.  So I came home, ate a healthy dinner and found myself feeling more centered and happy than I have been all week.  And tomorrow is a new day!