Well, so today is it. The big b-day. Now I'm going to put a disclaimer on this post for those of you who don't like talk about religion and faith, you may want to stop reading. But being my birthday and all, I took some time to reflect about my life and my journey, and for me, faith is a HUGE part of that so I can't NOT talk about it. But then again, I figure if you're following this, you probably are close with me and therefore you already know this so I probably don't need this disclaimer . . . . but I digress.
So . . . .
Today's revelations. (Oh and another disclaimer -- this is cathartic for me more than anything so if I bore you, don't feel like you have to read it :) )
I have had a GREAT and very blessed 34 years. I was born to AMAZING parents who from the get go instilled in me a love of traveling and appreciation for my country and other countries by choosing to spend two very formative years in Korea. Now I don't remember any of it unfortunately (which is sad) but I no doubt know that it did instill these things in me.
We lived in a great place to grow up (Dayton, Ohio) and they chose a wonderful church for me to grow up in which was the beginning of my faith journey and the beginning of 5 very specific wonderful friendships (word to my Concord UMC peeps!). I had a great education and was able to experience many wonderful extracurriculars like drama club, mock trial, marching band (and YES, I have many 'This one time at band camp' stories -- so don't mess with them!), Spanish club, volunteer organizations, baseball managing, etc. Each of which taught me something unique and exposed me to new friendships. Growing up, my parents encouraged socialization and imagination which was cause for so many fun times (and lots of blackmail through homemade videos which I have yet to use!! :) ).
I was surrounded by love both from people AND animals -- which I think is important.
I travelled on to an awesome place to go to college -- University of Evansville -- Go UE!! where I was introduced to freedom, individuality, responsibility, even more great friendships, love, heartache, maybe a little bit of alcohol ( -- only after turning 21 OF COURSE ;) ), organizations like Orientation Leaders, Student Activities Board, Alpha Omicron Pi, and one of the best parts of college, studying abroad at Harlaxton College in Grantham, England. That semester alone taught me years worth of life lessons.
I stop here and think, wow -- how lucky am I. But it doesn't stop there -- after college I was able to move to Orlando, FL and work for the mouse!! Yep, Disney World. I LOVED living in Orlando -- working for Disney, well, that's a story for another time, but again, another experience that introduced me to some life lessons and another slew of fabulous people from literally all over the world. Skip forward a year and I was down in Marathon, FL, in the middle of the Florida Keys volunteering and then later working at the Dolphin Research Center (www.dolphins.org) -- I mean really -- did I REALLY work with dolphins? It was like a dream for me -- yes I did!!! And man, do I miss those grey faces and dolphinalities!!!
And even my time spent here in PA has been amazing. For the first time, I was able to experience what it was like living among extended family and it is FABULOUS. I LOVE my cousins so very much and I LOVE being 'Aunt Cyndi' to their kids. And having family that are also good friends -- it doesn't get better than that. They're stuck with me!! :) Here in PA I've had the privilege of working with organizations like the Whitaker Science Center, Good Hope Animal Hospital, Central PA Magazine, and several health organizations. All experiences which have taught me new skills, life lessons, and again, introduced to amazing people. I was part of a great church here, Daybreak, that grew my faith in leaps and bounds in a more personal way and from that have an AMAZING!! small group that I have grown, weeped, laughed, lived, and learned with ,in what I truly believe God intended by community. They are my dearest friends and make my life so much more enjoyable with their love, support, and yes, even loaning of their children when I feel a little lonely! :) My church now, LCBC, has also had a huge impact on my faith, growing it even deeper and challenging and convicting me to make it real and practical in my daily walk.
So -- what is this trip down memory lane all leading to, you may ask? Well, because there are some people who might say that a 34 year old single gal must be miserable. Must have something wrong with her. Must have missed the boat somewhere. But I'm here to tell you -- I'm not. I don't. I didn't. I have had and will continue to have a wonderful life. I am SO very blessed. It doesn't get much better than this. I know that it can, but for me, right now, it doesn't. And this morning, when I was reflecting on all of this (warning -- here comes the heavy duty faith stuff!) and talking with God and thanking him for all of this (which is truly just all prayer is), I realized that I really think that in my being single, He has protected me. This doesn't mean that I haven't had heartache -- which I have. But what it means is that He knows exactly how He created me to be. He knows exactly what will and will not trigger me into unhealthy behaviors (aka emotional eating). He knows just exactly how much I can take. And I truly believe that until I am ready to handle the next step (whether it be marriage or not) He won't provide the opportunity. He knows when I'm ready -- and of course when it comes to marriage, the other person has to be ready too -- gottta love timing -- but He knows when that person's ready as well. And I'm not naive enough to think that when (or even if) it does happen that it's going to be all bells and whistles and romantic comedy moments (that was a life lesson learned already) but I do know that it will be easier because I am ready. And I am grateful that He loves me enough to prepare me to be ready. And I'm proud of myself that I am truly seeking His best for me in this area.
And I truly believe that this journey (or struggle as I sometimes refer to it) of life change/weight loss/healthy living is very much a needed journey in my life right now. In order to be the person I know I want to be and that I believe God is calling me to be, I need to go through this. There might be times where I feel like I'm learning the same lesson time and time again -- sometimes beating my head against a brick wall (hey -- at least that's still burning calories, right?!) but I HAVE to go through this. I have to learn these lessons. To be the best possible version of me. Even when I feel like a hypocrite or failure because in one post I say I can do this, I'm doing great, and in the next I've fallen off the wagon again, I need to go through EVERY part of this journey. No phoning it in -- right Bob Harper? :)
So -- in summary. I am exactly where I'm supposed to be, doing what I'm supposed to be at this time in my life. And I truly love it. It doesn't mean I'm happy all of the time (more like joyful --- and there's a difference between joy and happiness) and it doesn't mean that there aren't times I wish I were married with kids, but what it does mean is that I'm living life to the fullest. For such a time as this.
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