Life is like . . . . a hiking trip!

So this weekend I had the opportunity to get back out in nature and to hike like I had done when I was at the resort -- it was AMAZING!!!!!  And while on my journey, I realized that life is very much like a hiking trip.  So let's go . . .

When you first start out, you're excited, not sore, ready to go!!

The way up seems a little daunting, but you're so excited to see what life has in store -- you charge on!!

The way up to Pole Steeple, Pine Grove Furnace, PA

You stop along the way to look back at where you've come . . . .

As you're hiking, you are following the signs -- but if you don't look up and stop navel gazing, you'll miss the signs

Sometimes you will miss the signs -- and end up on a different path all together.  It takes you stopping and looking around for the signs and maybe backtracking a little bit before you get back on the right path.   But eventually if you're following the signs, you do.  Because ultimately, the sign giver has a plan for your hike!

You may have a VERY steep climb -- but look what you see when you get to the top!!

And it's always nice when you get a little encouragement along the way on your journey :)



And remembering the whole purpose of the journey is good every once in awhile too . . .

You can see Laurel Lake in the background

Sometimes on the journey there will be times where you feel so very alone -- there's no one else in sight. 

This is actually part of the Appalachian trail

And remembering that your journey is just part of a MUCH bigger story is important too . . .

There will be times in your journey when you're following the signs and you come to something like this . . .

And you think . . . . you want me to do what??  But seeing as there's no other way to continue on, you take the leap (well, more like a cautious step in this case!)  And don't worry -- I didn't fall in!

Until  you get to your destination!!

And you can appreciate where you've traveled and the beauty that accompanied you!!

In the 'MEAN'time

Okay -- so I know it's been almost three weeks since my last post, but life has been BUSY!!   So here you go . . . . .

Ever feel like you're so close to making some kind of breakthrough?  Like you're just on the brink of a huge revelation?  It's no secret from my posts that things haven't been easy since coming back from the resort.  For some reason my motivation has been dwindling since coming back.  I just can't seem to connect my head and my heart when it comes to diet and exercise.  And there are many times where I feel like I just want to give up.  But I know that I need to go through this.  I know that I need to experience every bit of this journey.  Every high and every low.  If I truly want to help other people with their weight loss (which I really do) then I have to know what they're experience first hand.  So that leads me to in the 'mean'time.

Last week our sermon was all about having faith in the 'mean'time.  And what a sermon it was -- I highly recommend you check it out if you have the time -- http://www.lcbcchurch.com/media/ -- "Stuck".  It began with Journey's song, 'Don't Stop Believing', which of course always makes you want to smile.  He then proceeded to talk about the faith that Abrham (Abraham) had to believe in God's promise that he would make him a father of many nations.  Now the reason this was so poignant for me right now -- and yes, I honestly felt like the pastor had read my journal!! -- is because I feel like my life has been a series of steps (well, more like leaps) of faith.  And putting it into that perspective, I am encouraged when I think about this current journey and challenged to apply my faith to it as well. Now what exactly that means, I'm not sure :)

For me, my biggest challenge up until this point was my singleness.  I had to laugh at the sermon because if you listen you'll see he makes the comment that Abrham had to wait more than a decade for his promise from God to be fulfilled. He then makes the comment that usually we don't have to wait nearly that long for our promises to be fulfilled -- that's when I turned to my friend next to me and said -- wait, what?  I've waited more than a decade to have a family!!!  But rather than crying at that comment, I was laughing.  That's because that challenge has finally gotten to the point where I trust God completely.  I know He is good and He is great (check out the sermon from today to understand that comment :) ).  And I can finally say after a VERY long time that I do trust Him.  And I am happy with whatever He decides.  It's the most amazingly freeing feeling.  Now if only I could apply it to this challenge -- we'd be golden :) 

So -- how can I apply it?  Hmmm . . . well, considering food is something you have to deal with on a daily, sometimes hourly basis, it makes it a little tougher.  I've tried praying whenever I have the urge to eat -- doesn't seem to work.  I've tried to recite bible verses.  Doesn't seem to work either.  Hmm . . this one's tough. I had started reading a book when I was at the resort that I had picked up at Saddleback when I was there called Crave that talked about this very thing -- maybe I should pick it back up . . . ya think? :)

I'll keep you posted on this one in the 'MEAN'time :)

34 Years in the making

Well, so today is it.  The big b-day.  Now I'm going to put a disclaimer on this post for those of you who don't like talk about religion and faith, you may want to stop reading.  But being my birthday and all, I took some time to reflect about my life and my journey, and for me, faith is a HUGE part of that so I can't NOT talk about it.  But then again, I figure if you're following this, you probably are close with me and therefore you already know this so I probably don't need this disclaimer . . . . but I digress. 

So . . . .

Today's revelations.   (Oh and another disclaimer -- this is cathartic for me more than anything so if I bore you, don't feel like you have to read it :) )

I have had a GREAT and very blessed 34 years.  I was born to AMAZING parents who from the get go instilled in me a love of traveling and appreciation for my country and other countries by choosing to spend two very formative years in Korea.  Now I don't remember any of it unfortunately (which is sad) but I no doubt know that it did instill these things in me. 

We lived in a great place to grow up (Dayton, Ohio) and they chose a wonderful church for me to grow up in which was the beginning of my faith journey and the beginning of 5 very specific wonderful friendships (word to my Concord UMC peeps!). I had a great education and was able to experience many wonderful extracurriculars like drama club, mock trial, marching band (and YES, I have many 'This one time at band camp' stories -- so don't mess with them!), Spanish club, volunteer organizations, baseball managing, etc.  Each of which taught me something unique and exposed me to new friendships.  Growing up, my parents encouraged socialization and imagination which was cause for so many fun times (and lots of blackmail through homemade videos which I have yet to use!! :) ).
I was surrounded by love both from people AND animals -- which I think is important. 

I travelled on to an awesome place to go to college -- University of Evansville -- Go UE!!  where I was introduced to freedom, individuality, responsibility, even more great friendships, love, heartache, maybe a little bit of alcohol ( -- only after turning 21 OF COURSE ;) ), organizations like Orientation Leaders, Student Activities Board, Alpha Omicron Pi, and one of the best parts of college, studying abroad at Harlaxton College in Grantham, England.  That semester alone taught me years worth of life lessons. 

I stop here and think, wow -- how lucky am I.  But it doesn't stop there --  after college I was able to move to Orlando, FL and work for the mouse!!  Yep, Disney World.  I LOVED living in Orlando -- working for Disney, well, that's a story for another time, but again, another experience that introduced me to some life lessons and another slew of fabulous people from literally all over the world.   Skip forward a year and I was down in Marathon, FL, in the middle of the Florida Keys volunteering and then later working at the Dolphin Research Center (www.dolphins.org)  -- I mean really -- did I REALLY work with dolphins?  It was like a dream for me -- yes I did!!!  And man, do I miss those grey faces and dolphinalities!!! 

And even my time spent here in PA has been amazing.  For the first time, I was able to experience what it was like living among extended family and it is FABULOUS.  I LOVE my cousins so very much and I LOVE being 'Aunt Cyndi' to their kids.  And having family that are also good friends -- it doesn't get better than that.  They're stuck with me!! :)  Here in PA I've had the privilege of working with organizations like the Whitaker Science Center, Good Hope Animal Hospital, Central PA Magazine, and several health organizations.  All experiences which have taught me new skills, life lessons, and again, introduced to amazing people.  I was part of a great church here, Daybreak, that grew my faith in leaps and bounds in a more personal way and from that have an AMAZING!!  small group that I have grown, weeped, laughed, lived, and learned with ,in what I truly believe God intended by community.  They are my dearest friends and make my life so much more enjoyable with their love, support, and yes, even loaning of their children when I feel a little lonely! :)   My church now, LCBC, has also had a huge impact on my faith, growing it even deeper and challenging and convicting me to make it real and practical in my daily walk.

So -- what is this trip down memory lane all leading to, you may ask?  Well, because there are some people who might say that a 34 year old single gal must be miserable.  Must have something wrong with her.  Must have missed the boat somewhere.  But I'm here to tell you -- I'm not.  I don't.  I didn't.  I have had and will continue to have a wonderful life.  I am SO very blessed.  It doesn't get much better than this.  I know that it can, but for me, right now, it doesn't.  And this morning, when I was reflecting on all of this (warning -- here comes the heavy duty faith stuff!) and talking with God and thanking him for all of this (which is truly just all prayer is), I realized that I really think that in my being single, He has protected me.  This doesn't mean that I haven't had heartache -- which I have.  But what it means is that He knows exactly how He created me to be.  He knows exactly what will and will not trigger me into unhealthy behaviors (aka emotional eating).  He knows just exactly how much I can take.  And I truly believe that until I am ready to handle the next step (whether it be marriage or not) He won't provide the opportunity.  He knows when I'm ready -- and of course when it comes to marriage, the other person has to be ready too -- gottta love timing -- but He knows when that person's ready as well.  And I'm not naive enough to think that when (or even if) it does happen that it's going to be all bells and whistles and romantic comedy moments (that was a life lesson learned already) but I do know that it will be easier because I am ready.  And I am grateful that He loves me enough to prepare me to be ready.  And I'm proud of myself that I am truly seeking His best for me in this area.  

And I truly believe that this journey (or struggle as I sometimes refer to it) of life change/weight loss/healthy living is very much a needed journey in my life right now. In order to be the person I know I want to be and that I believe God is calling me to be, I need to go through this.  There might be times where I feel like I'm learning the same lesson time and time again -- sometimes beating my head against a brick wall (hey -- at least that's still burning calories, right?!) but I HAVE to go through this.  I have to learn these lessons.  To be the best possible version of me.    Even when I feel like a hypocrite or failure because in one post I say I can do this, I'm doing great, and in the next I've fallen off the wagon again, I need to go through EVERY part of this journey. No phoning it in -- right Bob Harper? :)

So -- in summary.  I am exactly where I'm supposed to be, doing what I'm supposed to be at this time in my life.  And I truly love it.  It doesn't mean I'm happy all of the time (more like joyful --- and there's a difference between joy and happiness) and it doesn't mean that there aren't times I wish I were married with kids, but what it does mean is that I'm living life to the fullest.  For such a time as this.

Sick and tired of . . . . . well, mostly just sick!!

So -- Monday night when I posted my last post, I was all pumped up and ready to start a new day.  Yeah -- so that lasted all of about one night.  Wow -- this is really hard.  It's those stinkin' drug rep lunches!!!  Last week it was pizza.  I just CANNOT turn down pizza.  And my first go round was fine -- two pieces and I was done.  But it was after lunch time that got me.  So -- Lesson #4  -- NOT ONLY DO YOU NEED HEALTHY LUNCHES AT WORK, BUT HEALTH SNACKS TO STOP YOU FROM SNACKING ON UNHEALTHY LUNCH LEFTOVERS!!!  So -- today at lunch I went out and purchased some applesauce, Larabars, bananas, and peanut butter cheerios (which are whole grain) to hopefully curb that problem. 


So come Friday (which I had taken off) I was all ready to start over again and make it a healthy choice weekend filled with exercise.  It started off great.  I walked down to my little town to the bank and the post office and then walked to a friends house.  After that I walked back to my house a different route, so in all, I probably walked about 9 miles.  It was about 2 and 1/2 hours total.  And let me tell you, about the 7th mile -- I was scared I wasn't going to make it!! I thought I was going to have to call someone to come get me!! But I pushed through and did it!! It reminded me of the morning hikes at the resort.  Which I miss.  I really do need to find a hiking club in the area to keep me motivated and hiking!   And my body recovered much quicker than I thought it would which was great.


Then Saturday started off a little odd -- I was hoping to work out again but ended up feeling like I needed to rest a little -- well, little did I know a lovely 48 hour bug that's going around was creeping up to get me.  And get me it did!!!  Best part -- I only ate 790 calories Sunday (for some reason, the only thing my stomach could stomach (ha!) was pizza -- something about the bread and cheese I think) but worst part -- I felt HORRIBLE!! and I missed Easter with my family :(  Although all that yummy food would have presented other challenges I'm sure!    I've only just begun to feel better within the last few hours.  And of course, my appetite feels much better too :(    I wasn't too bad today simply because I'm still feeling a little yucky but at least I feel like I can make it to the gym tomorrow.  Still pushin' on!!!!

Lost and Found

I debated what the title of this post would be but after this long last week, I determined that 'Lost and Found' was the most appropriate title.  Not only does the title of my blog talking about losing yourself, but this week I truly did just that.  I lost myself.  The me I had found while at the resort.  This week was a TOUGH week. 

First off it didn't help that I suddenly was hit smack in the face with a nasty cold on Tuesday afternoon that had me down for the count, but for some reason I was completely swept away with drug rep lunches this week.  I thought for sure that coming back from the resort my resolve to pass up drug rep lunches would be strengthened, but I didn't account for the fact that life doesn't always work as you plan it.  This week I caught myself eating Cheeseburger Sliders from Applebees twice at work -- do you have any idea how many calories are in one of those little things??? It's almost 400 calories!! Crazy!!! Part of it was because I wasn't feeling good and therefore what resolve I had was spent on just making it through the day and part of it was because of poor planning.  So out of that poor planning came Lesson #1  --  MAKE SURE YOU BRING HEALTHY FOOD YOU CAN GRAB QUICKLY AND GO WITH TO WORK.  The first slip with the sliders was due to having to rush out for a meeting and not having had time to go home for lunch first -- it was quick and easy -- and OH so unhealthy.  Then once I tasted the deliciousness it was too hard to resist when I couldn't escape home for lunch the following day.  Lesson learned.  Unfortunately that lesson was learned over and over again this week -- you think it would have sunk in the first time, but no -- this skull is thick (and stubborn!) :)  But -- tomorrow I will be purchasing some healthy on the go meals to keep at work. 

I did try the B Healthy meals and although they were good, I'm not quite sure that it is going to work for me.  At least not every week.  I feel like I didn't eat enough of them to make it worth the money.  It was good for a few healthy meals this week though.  Maybe it will be an every other or every three weeks thing.  But they were yummy.

Lesson # 2 came during a particularly anxious time for me.  I was stressed out with a personal situation and the first place I went to was food.  This one is going to be tougher to overcome.  This one I'm going to have to find some kind of mantra or way of avoiding food whenever this happens.  Therefore Lesson #2 -- FOOD IS NOT THE ANSWER TO ANXIETY OR STRESS -- MIND OVER MATTER -- YOU CAN DEAL WITH IT WITHOUT EATING FOOD.  This lesson was also repeated this afternoon as things got pretty hairy at work.  I was pretty pleased with myself with my control at lunch in only eating one piece of pizza (yes, another drug rep lunch --- Dr. Smith I never realized how good I had it at Bent Creek not having to struggle with this temptation!!) because pizza is my all time favorite food.  But when the stress level went up -- so did my hand towards the pizza box -- ugh!!! 

So through all of these lessons and situations, I was feeling pretty lost.  Feeling like I wasted my week at the resort and frustrated with myself for not being stronger willed.  Then, I went to Zumba tonight.  And I was found.  It was during the last song that sang about being free and strong that I remembered who I was.  Who I am.  I am strong.  I CAN overcome.  There will be hills and there will be valleys in this journey, but those are what make the journey.  That is what makes me stronger.  And viola -- Lesson #3 -- EVERY MOMENT CAN BE THE START OF SOMETHING BETTER --  A DO OVER.  So I came home, ate a healthy dinner and found myself feeling more centered and happy than I have been all week.  And tomorrow is a new day!